The Inspiration

Driving down the highway, on our way back to the coast from Madrid today... the rolling fields of sun-flowers & solar panels, windmills & white-walled ruins... my husband, seat-back, sleeping soundly beside me after animated talks of buying a second-hand auto-caravan and travelling all over Spain... serenaded by Jack Johnson, Colin Hay, Sarah McLaughlin... creating photo collages and new soaps in my mind - it all just hit me - I want to tell my tale. Not just another of my half-finished stories that get filed away privately on my computer...

In my mind, I began writing this blog.

Why is that we narcissistically feel other people would be interested in the story of our own lives? I don’t know. I just want to share it.

Before my husband nodded off, before I took over at the wheel, he took a sudden detour from the highway... Sometimes he reminds me of that other special man in my life... my dad. My dad was never about getting from A to B in the quickest way... He was all about enjoying the route. So is my husband. We had hardly slept. We had driven 6 hours to Madrid the previous day to drop off my father-in-law for his return to Argentina. We were on our way back early this morning driving across Castilla-La Mancha, pure Quijote country, when Oscar detoured off the main route and headed into the endless sunflower fields towards a monastery that we had spotted... something my dad would have done. Who cares what time we get home!? We got to the monastery, read a bit about the incredible history, snapped a few shots (please be patient... I am learning about photography... some photos are better than others...)



and on the way back to the highway he took another detour... right into the sunflowers. My camera batteries ran out mid-picture so the photo at the beginning of the blog is the only one I got. He took a few pix on his phone of me in love with the sun-flowers. They are my favourite flowers today - so full of life, so happy.

I took over the driving and he nodded off. I cranked up Colin Hay on the CD player and just let the creativity over-take me.

I am not sure what has affected me more... But in the last few months, either the death of my Grandmother or turning 40 has really made me take a look at where I have been, where I am and where I am going. I don't think it's about turning 40, because I feel pretty good about being 40, but I am aware it is a milestone that can affect people in strange ways. My grandma's death made me miss my mum acutely...

Intensely emotional ups & downs. At any given time, anything can trigger it, the tears just start flowing. It's getting better...

Triggers
...the other day it was the smell of morning toast which took me back to Rexdale mornings before school, at 8 years old with my mum...
...once it was Hallelujah, sung by K.D. Lang, which my mum had set the photos of Grandma to at the recent Celebration of life for her...
...another time it was a reading through the posts of a Blog that really inspires me... A fellow (ex) soap-maker, turned photographer that gets really personal on her blog. She married her high-school sweetheart and they are raising their three daughters in their hometown... Stability, tradition, history, family... I have done anything but marry my high-school sweetheart. I fled all that, setting out on one adventure after another, but here I am so many years later almost envying it...

Today was wonderful. A CREATIVE PEAK. I was reminded how much I love Spain and have decided to share my story. I have a hunch that the whole thing will be cathartic.

xo